excuses, excuses

by lifeonaxis1

i swear to fucking god.

i had just finished the last blog post and was getting ready to settle in to read a book about teaching and i made the fucking mistake of checking my email.  i don’t leave the house, how is this shit finding me???

i received the following email from my landlord:

A. Patient,

You realize that month after month when rent is late with a variety of excuses it doesn’t look real legitimate?……….It is amazing to me the kinds of excuses tenants can come up with.   I have gone through this with tenants who make really impressive excuses over and over and it’s really just a run around- they have issues that need to be resolved so they can be more accountable.  I am not willing to deal with this on an ongoing basis with you or any tenant.   So, I am advising you now that I am not going to renew your lease at the end of August, if you were intending to stay.  I just can’t have the unreliability.  So please plan to be out and have the unit cleaned entirely if you want your deposit back.  You never paid for the other dog fee and that’s sort of a moot point now.  I am anticipating that all is well inside.  I will do a final walk through with you ( or without you) upon move out  and within 2 weeks after you move out you will receive the refund deposit and if not the entire deposit there will be a list of what any charges are and the remainder will be mailed to the address you provide me.

I still need to deal with the water system, but I just have not had time.  I need to go over this week after 5 on probably Wed. to show the middle unit to some new tenants and I will email you ( since your phone number  and texting doesn’t work) for sure with the time and the dogs need to be contained.


my insensitive landlord


I was so in a decent mood too.  My mood score was up to 50%!  Suddenly I’m pissed off and totally activated.  I just wanted to go to bed!

Thankfully, I don’t have much of a filter these days, so I quickly shot back an email which was at least somewhat satisfying.

Dear insensitive landlord,

I understand your position and the reason you have it, but your conclusion is incorrect.  I have been dealing with a tremendous amount of stress this year including but not limited to being diagnosed with a chronic medical illness that is unpredictably debilitating and essentially leaves me disabled, my sister’s hospitalization after a suicide attempt, my dog being attacked by a coyote, my debit card information stolen.  The medical issue alone has forced me to reconsider many career and personal objectives.  This does not even include the work issues which are non-trivial.  I am happy to provide documentation for ANY of this.

It’s fine if you do not want to renew the lease with me; I would probably move anyway.  I am deeply offended that you didn’t bother to ASK what’s going on.  I understand you get enough BS to fill a football stadium but given my initial credentials, could you not have asked??  I am not responsible for the crap excuses other people have given you.

Wednesday is fine, just let me know.


A. Patient


I’m done for the day folks.  I will NOT be checking email or anything.  Instead, I’ll be waiting for the fucking airplane engine to come crashing through the ceiling.