lithium update

by lifeonaxis1

i can’t sleep so i thought i’d channel some energy through writing in the hopes that i might get some peace of mind.  i’m tired, exhausted really, but when i closed my eyes i started remembering traumatic events that had my pulse up and my body twitching.

i’ve been taking 900 mg of lithium for about two weeks now.  i think there is a lot of misinformation out there so i want to keep everyone posted on my own personal experience.  personally i read a ton of hype on the net about negative effects associated with lithium.  my own sister refused to take it based on the connotation of the word alone and i nearly followed suit.

so here it is, Clint Eastwood-style

The Good

Life is, on average, decidedly more…”stable” so to speak.  My thoughts run at a reasonable pace and I’m not fidgeting as much.  The depression has been alleviated for the most part which feels like a fucking miracle.  Sometimes I feel a bit hypomanic which is a welcome relief from the 2 tons of weight depression seemed to heave on my shoulders.

The Bad

I do feel a little crazy sometimes but it is definitely mild and passes quickly.  it’s like a sense of feeling unconnected to things and slightly high.  that could be the hypomania though. i drink water like i’m running a marathon in the sahara desert.  and i have to pee, constantly.  Sometimes I even feel feverish or flushed, which i attribute to not drinking enough water.

The Ugly

My skin is reliving middle school.  Lithium can make you break out like a mofo which is fucking obnoxious.  Since my crippling depression, I have basically eliminated all makeup from my daily regimen so that probably helps.  Oh, and lithium can give you the shits.  Thank goodness I mostly work from home.

My psychiatrist tells me that many of the side effects I’m experiencing will subside as my body acclimates to the lithium.  We’ll see.  I certainly don’t want diarrhea for the rest of my life.  That’s what I call a deal breaker.

Lithium is a mood stabilizer; however, it is not a body cast that shields me from any and all fluctuations.  This may be due to the fact that I’m not fully stabilized yet, or possibly due to PTSD, but I am still incredibly sensitive to stress.  For example, I tried to reactivate my old facebook account (the one with all of my friends and family etc) and I was signed on for less than a minute before I started to panic and deactivated the account again.  My objective these days is to simplify as much as possible so life is manageable.