deflated
by lifeonaxis1
i’m so deep in my head that my sensory experience of the external environment is dulled and muted. i have things to write about, but no drive to follow through. in fact, i don’t have drive to follow through with just about anything. it’s like being depressed without the heavy feeling. apathy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
it feels like my internal motivation is gone. which is weird for someone whose fascination with all things used to propel her through life.
i am decidedly an introvert. i have little desire to socialize with others, and the range of people with whom i am interested in interacting is much more narrow.
i can’t even tell if this is a reaction to the news i received last week, or if it can be attributed to the lithium, or if i really have morphed into someone quite different from who i used to be.
it’s extremely unsettling when i can’t even predict myself.
Mood Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified 
This does sound decidedly unlike you. I suspect it may be a combination of things – the second diagnosis, the lithium, and the rather heavy doses of stress you seem to be experiencing at the moment.
I would categorically say you are NOT an introvert, personally (!) – rather that the place you’re in right now, mentally, is being extremely prohibitive.
It’s far to early to making predictions; I would hang tight, strap in for the ride, and see what comes next. After all, you can’t analyze until you have all the data.
good point! spoken like a wise statistician.
when i earned my master’s degree, i was so excited i analyzed data every day. some days were great, others boring, and still others dreadful. now i know better!
i have no patience is the problem…