i’m so deep in my head that my sensory experience of the external environment is dulled and muted. i have things to write about, but no drive to follow through. in fact, i don’t have drive to follow through with just about anything. it’s like being depressed without the heavy feeling. apathy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
it feels like my internal motivation is gone. which is weird for someone whose fascination with all things used to propel her through life.
i am decidedly an introvert. i have little desire to socialize with others, and the range of people with whom i am interested in interacting is much more narrow.
i can’t even tell if this is a reaction to the news i received last week, or if it can be attributed to the lithium, or if i really have morphed into someone quite different from who i used to be.
it’s extremely unsettling when i can’t even predict myself.