chemical booster shot

by lifeonaxis1

the past 24 hours, i’ve been okay.  not great or anything, but definitely okay.  yesterday afternoon, i experienced about an hour-long period of feeling like i’d been hit by a bus, but the waters have mostly calmed since.

i suspect it has something to do with another change in my meds, prescribed by my very new and very NICE psychiatrist.  he recommended seroquel, which i initially cringed at because of my sister’s brief stint as a zombie while taking the stuff.  he convinced me, however, that zombie attacks are usually associated with very high doses.  the dose i’d be taking would be very low, about 6% of the zombie dose.  and, he claimed, this would help with my unrelenting depression.  which, at the time of our meeting, was quite pervasive.  i guess all my talk of hangings and stabbing myself in the stomach finally got through to someone.

so, seroquel.  knocks me out.  i have NO IDEA how anyone takes the dose for mania or psychosis and functions.  let’s put it in perspective.  25 mg for me means i am going to sleep.  relatively immediately.  the dose for mania or psychosis is GREATER THAN 400 mg.  fuck that job!

the next change in my regimen will be to up my lamictal to 100 mg from 50 mg in the interest of getting me to a therapeutic dose faster.  and because the change after that is to reduce my prozac and lithium!  hooray!  we’ll decrease to 10 mg of the prozac (from 20 mg), and 600 mg of the lithium (from 900 mg).

thank fucking god too, because the lithium (and my brief appearance as the cookie monster) added 20 lbs to my body.  i am in perpetual discomfort!  arrrggghhhh.

i think eventually, i will just be taking the lamictal.

my weekly pill box will be so much more zen.

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