bill of rights

by lifeonaxis1

another document that is read at the beginning of the Al-Anon meeting is “An Adult Child’s Bill of Rights”.  I am going to highlight the parts that i think will be most difficult for me, leaving open the possibility that those deemed “most difficult” will change as i move through this process.

  1. I have a right to all those good times that I have longed for all these years and didn’t get
  2. I have a right to joy in this life, right here, right now, not just a momentary rush of euphoria, but something more substantive
  3. I have a right to relax and have fun in a non-alcoholic, nondestructive, and nonaddictive way
  4. I have a right to actively pursue people, places, and situations that will help me to achieve a good life
  5. I have a right to say “no” whenever I feel something is not safe or I am not ready
  6. I have a right not to participate in either the active or the passive crazy making behavior of my parents, siblings, and of others
  7. I have a right to take calculated risks and to experiment with new strategies
  8. I have a right to change my tune, my strategy, and my funny equations
  9. I have a right to “mess up”, to “blow it”, to disappoint myself and to fall short of the mark
  10. I have a right to leave the company of people who deliberately or inadvertently put me down, lay a guilt trip on me, manipulate me or humiliate me, including my own alcoholic parent, my non-alcoholic parent, or any other member of my family
  11. I have a right to put an end to conversations with people when I feel put down or humiliated
  12. I have a right to all of my feelings
  13. I have a right to trust my feelings, my judgment, my hunches, my intuition
  14. I have a right to develop myself as a whole person, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically
  15. I have a right to express all of my feelings in a nondestructive way and at a safe time and place
  16. I have a right to sort out the bill of goods my parents sold me, to take the acceptable and dump the unacceptable
  17. I have a right to as much time as I feel I need to experiment with this new information and these new behaviors and to initiate changes in my life
  18. I have a right to a mentally healthy, sane way of existence, though it may deviate in part, or wholly from my parent’s prescribed philosophy of life, belief system, way of life, code of ethics, or code of behavior
  19. I have the right to follow any or all of the above rights, to live my life the way I want to, and not wait until my alcoholic parent gets well, gets happy, seeks help, or admits there is a problem.
  20. I have a right to carve out my place in this world