self-exploration

by lifeonaxis1

i need some new fucking hobbies.

i never thought i’d say this, but i’m actually starting to get a little sick of law & order.  nevermind the fact that i have it on any time i am home and my work doesn’t require serious concentration.  my l&o binges serve a purpose: they give me something to focus on.  in moments of silence, sadness creeps in.  as do memories and regret.

i’ve been keeping as busy as possible to avoid those moments.  i did some work on my jeep.  i cleaned out my house.  i redecorated a few areas.  put up curtains.  eradicated dirt and germs.  lots of laundry, and i even folded it and put it away right after it was done.  checked my mail on time, instead of letting it pile up and get sent back to the post office.

i’ve been getting academic work done too.  submitted things on time (!).  made and kept appointments.  been on top of email (mostly).  relatively on time with grading and things related to my classes.  i’ve started preparing for my upcoming classes.

i’ve also been more social than i have in…a very long time.  i had dinner with a couple girlfriends friday.  al-anon meeting saturday morning with another friend.  concert and bar hopping with a crew saturday night.  i spent sunday recovering, but then i had a colleague come over monday to work on some statistics stuff.

but those things aren’t really hobbies, per se.  despite doing all of that, somehow i still have time to fill.  for the past year, i’ve played video games as a new hobby.  it was one of those things i picked up to bond with XBF.  and he was a gaming fanatic so even the mention of gaming things makes my stomach sink.  i tried to play uncharted, and i got through about 5 minutes before i felt too sick to continue.

speaking of which, i would like to state for the record that god hates me.  that sob thinks it’s funny to drop reminders of XBF everywhere.  i mean, it’s relentless.  like the harder i try to ignore it, the more i hear things that remind me of him.

so, i need to generate a list of new hobbies to pursue.  here goes nothing.

  1. painting
  2. hiking
  3. camping
  4. cooking/baking
  5. blogging (check) 🙂
  6. vlogging
  7. knitting
  8. jogging
  9. photography
  10. yoga
  11. leaf collecting and pressing
  12. reading
  13. geocaching
  14. urban exploring
  15. building an agility course for my dogs
  16. gardening
  17. playing pool
  18. model building

for the record, i had to look up hobbies on wikipedia to come up with ideas.  ha!

Advertisements