the bulge

by lifeonaxis1

i just weighed myself.

big mistake.  the only time i want to see those digits is on a check, payable to moi.

good thing one of my new hobbies is going to the gym.  yeah, i went last night, instead of watching L&O or playing a puzzle game on my ps vita.  little did i know, that while i was doing squats and stretching, everyone behind me could see my fucking UNDERWEAR.  because i didn’t notice before i put them on that big dog A had chewed a nice doily pattern through the crotch.


in any case, i did a shopping trip today, finally.  i emailed myself my old low carb grocery list and went to town.  if all works as before, i can lose at least 15 of these nuisances in a month or two.  last year i did the same.  in one month, i lost 12 lbs.  or 16.  i can’t remember.  all i remember is looking fucking fantastic in an itty-bitty bikini.

a friend of mine told me that “people” said they thought i was anorexic back in february of this year, when i did this diet again before a trip to the Playboy mansion.  she told me, i look much healthier now…

yeah, if i want to be served up at thanksgiving dinner.