first world problems

by lifeonaxis1


i can’t believe it.  i’m seriously sitting here dumbfounded because i’ve never been in this situation before.  it’s so frustrating that i just want to shout or cry.  i also feel completely ridiculous.  here’s why.

so, i wrote about the guy who never called last time.  i am alternating days where on some i am totally okay with it, and on others i am bugging. the. fuck. out.  today is one of the latter.

i mean, i’m doing this to myself.  i keep looking him up on the other dating websites i’m on and every single fucking time i conclude that we are completely fucking compatible and should be dating NOW.  or at least getting to know each other.  texting even?  fuck…

our chemistry/personality/relationship needs quizzes all show the same outcomes.  his descriptions and style are right up my alley.  i just can’t fucking believe that i found someone so compatible but who DIDN’T FEEL THE SAME WAY.

i might sound like an ass, but THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE.  i am just unable to comprehend this situation.  acceptance is NOT happening.  i want to bang my head against a wall.

i try not to spend too much time dissecting my behavior.  he was all into me, it seemed, and then… silence.  what did i miss?  was it something i said?  did i have food in my teeth?  what part of me isn’t good enough for you, mister?  what turned you off?  what changed your mind?  why didn’t you give me a chance?