fuck lithium

hey y’all.  :: waves ::

sorry i haven’t written.  i’ve been busy emulating super woman.  i don’t mean to boast (but i’m going to do it anyway), but in the last week-ish, i graded 195 essay questions, 65 participation assignments (also essay), submitted abstracts to three conferences, and finished part 2 of a manuscript that is now about 50 pages (with an easy 10 more coming before it’s done), ran 12 miles, went grocery shopping, bulk cooked, and re-watched all episodes of the walking dead.  on top of a 4 day trip to california, where i drank lots of wonderful champagne and IPA.  i feel like a million bucks.

i haven’t been this successfully productive in a very long time, but i have been working hard to get life back in order.  including losing the 20 (!) lbs i gained while taking lithium.  i’ve been working on it since january 2.  with few results.

lithium weight is now my arch nemesis.

to be fair, i was estimating a rate of success based on my experience 2 (short…sniff) years ago, when the south beach diet took 12 lbs off my frame in a month.  it was magical.  it was fantastical.  it was the most rewarding experience EVER.

i did the same thing starting at the beginning of january, and the scale Did. Not. Budge.  i considered the possibility that one night every week or two, going out to drink might have been the culprit.  but not with the restricted diet i was on!  there’s no way!  i started incorporating exercise (which i did NOT, i repeat, did NOT have to do before).  still nothing.

i refuse to accept the possibility that “aging” is a factor.  it was two years ago for fuck’s sake.

then i had to get an emergency root canal and follow up surgery, and being high on percocet is not conducive to a healthy lifestyle.  i got in some solid hours on far cry 3 though.  (ah-may-zing!).

so, here i am.  it’s mid-march.  i’m none-the-lighter.  i’m ready to pull my hair out.

when visiting my family in california, i felt like the fucking michelin man.  my 50-year old mother kicked my ass on a 5 mile run.  yeah, that awkward moment.  over half of the pictures we took are banned from the public because i look like a fatty mcfatfat.

there’s nothing to do but try again.  with vengeance.  and if this shit doesn’t start coming off quick status i am going to blow a gasket at my next pdoc appointment.  i am going to send the dab who coerced me to take it hate mail.

the worst part of all of this is… i can’t even console myself with cookies and milk.